Taboos

What’s something you believe everyone should know.

In our society talking about many issues are still considered taboo. Whether these issues should or should not be talked about is debatable and may elicit views both in favour as well as in disfavour.

However, I feel that it is more educative and enlightening to have open discussions on guarded subjects like sex education, marital rape, sexual orientation, women’s right to sexual satisfaction, prostitution as a profession, consensual sex etc. It is necessary to be open to ease the process of acceptance.

Educating children about sex at homes as well as in schools is essential to make them aware of the good and bad of physical touch by the opposite or same gender. Knowledge is power and a saviour. The right perspective about topics which are treated as hush-hush can save young ones from abuse, exploitation and taking the wrong step.

Same goes for drugs. Children should be made aware of the adverse impact of drugging so that they are protected from bad company and their alluring ways. Any activity taken up under pressure, in this case that of peer groups, is devoid of rationale and application of mind. It is merely undertaken because of somebody else’s dictate or persuasion. All that is followed by the opinion builders or the generally affluent segment of society is not the ultimate fashion statement though it is made to look like that.

In our society marital rape is common and pushed under the carpet as something ‘normal’. Women, in most families, are treated as property or possession. It is considered the duty of the wife to satisfy the husband whichever way he wants. From house keeping to bed warming it is the women’s paramount objective to provide optimal satisfaction to the men. So, being compelled or coerced to physically satisfy the male partner in ways which may not be to the liking of the female counterpart is not a matter of disrepute but obligation. Here, it is pertinent to mention that rape is not confined to the body only. It is also an indelible scar on the mind of the victim. It is also an irreplaceable emotional drainage. And if that torture becomes part of the daily grind then ?

As a corollary to the above, objectification of women to the extent of mechanical performers of their roles in society implies that they are bereft of preference or choice. This does not mean that they should walk out of their family just because they are not physically satiated in a relationship but it underscores that their likings or dislikes should be given due importance. It is not that they should exercise the option of polygamy. But if they are not consensual towards an act their dissension should be duly respected.

I strongly believe that sexual orientation of an individual is very very personal like religion. A person has a right to be an atheist or a theist. Similarly, sexual preference should not be made a cause of social discrimination, ostracization or segregation. It is a personal choice or preference. Period.

Have you ever been to Red Light Zone? I have. Those who consider prostitution as an abominable profession should see how under age children to overaged old women stand in rows after rows with dead pan faces to get picked up for the night. It is not that they enjoy doing what they are doing it’s their livelihood – means for survival.

While on the subject I would also like to talk about a disease I suffered from. Have you heard of Endometriosis? The lining around the uterus is known as endometrial lining. In an endometriotic patient endometriotic tissues are found in or spread to other organs. It is a disease which is on the extreme end of diagnostic efficiency meaning endometriosis cannot be diagnosed easily. It takes 6 to 7 years to detect. In my case it was 10 long years. It is said that the disease is asymptomatic but at times marked by progressively growing pain in the rectum or pelvis. In my case it was the latter. Endometriosis has many myths associated with it. Earlier it was said to be a white woman’s ailment. However, even black and brown skinned woman suffer from it. The cause of the disease is still unknown. It makes life hell as the excruciating pain encompasses the whole system and no other sensation in the body is left but this agonising discomfort. I am using very mild terms mind it. Laparoscopic cleaning of the adhesions is the only remedy. After my surgery I thought it appropriate to spread awareness about the disease as it was uncommon and therefore unknown to most. I wanted to talk about it thinking there could be many who suffered from it quietly not knowing the cause or treatment. But soon it became clear that people talking about it was stigmatized. I was told I suffered from it because I was unmarried which is not a scientifically correct statement. That is why those who suffer embrace social ostracization rather than explain what ails them. I too did partially because of the trauma attached to the suffering and partially because I learnt not to educate people who preferred to remain biased and ignorant.

But this was many years back. Perhaps people are more exposed and developed a scientific temper. I chose to speak about these issues because for many ignorance is still bliss be it a developed or developing society. We fall in the cusp. We have accepted certain social norms out of gradually spreading awareness, some out of following the West blindly though it is disputable whether all that suits the West whether they are equally suitable for us and some because others follow the same trend. Enlightenment which comes from within is very rare. There are also some who have double standards – one for their own and one for others. They may sermonize on being liberal when it comes to others but remain strictly conservative when it applies to their own selves.

Many may not agree to this post. Many others may. But values change with time. The taboos too.

Pic from Pexel

If you wish to know more about Endometriosis Try Wikipedia