I thought the New Year would bring in good tidings. It has not. On the contrary, it has ushered a fresh phase of confusion, dejection and irresoluteness. As it is said darkness leads to light, I wonder whether this chapter of indecision will end in unfazed determination and indomitable will to push on or continue to imbue my life with grim shades of desolation and despair.

There have been many such phases earlier wherein I have vacillated between hard hitting reality and die-hard optimism. However, with growing age, optimism has given way to something which borders on acceptance of the fact that things may not be the way I wish them to be mixed with a wee bit of cynicism. There is an odd kind of stupidity about life. It goes on the same way even if you do not fit into the scheme of things. Or does this idiocy a personal subscription? I do not know and I do not want to know.

I feel happy that things did not happen my way. It would have made me complacent. Learning the hard way has always been the flow for me. I am still following the same current. It is not that I do not wish to depart from the set trend. It is only that deviants do not always cause serendipity in life. Every being has been bestowed with a predestined matrix of evolution – emotional, intellectual and spiritual. We have to understand broadly  the design of the weave, however, indecipherable it may appear at times. Most of the times we give in to bafflement. On hindsight, we somewhat realize the pattern, may be fully not. Yet, there is a pattern which perhaps goes haywire at times because our own aspirations disrupt the larger plan and perspective of which we are just a minuscule part.

In this damnably confounding game of karmic existence is it possible to keep faith? Alas! That’s the only proverbial straw we have to hold on to. Otherwise, to acknowledge that your mere being is just another elusive act of the illusory magnum opus of  cosmic manifestation is too much to grasp cerebrally.

So, flow with the tide? What else?

 

This Post is written for the Daily Post Prompt : Educate

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About gc1963

A working woman with interests in reading, writing, music, poetry and fine arts.

5 responses »

  1. Interesting meditation. The only point I would question is the idea of predestination. I like to feel there are more creative possibilities …

    Liked by 1 person

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