The heathen memories of darkness

Leave tilted shadows on the wall

Crucified unto permanency?

Indelibly ingrained on the retinal canvas?

Or just the salsa of fluid fingers

Denoting a passage of phase

I wonder…

 

What is so dreadful

Beyond death?

The eventide of life

Invokes pictures of

Cadaverous beauty

Hitherto unframed

 

Oh! Mirror tell me the truth

Hinged or unhinged

The madman rants

Isn’t uncertainty

Anything but an appointment

Unbidden, unconfirmed

Slot unpegged?

….And then there are those molten moments when you witness all that you have lived for, dreamed agelessly and aspired relentlessly to be at least once in your lifetime cascade down into a mirthless, vigourless fall – a sagging lava of enervated desires and wishes, that had raised spirited heads off and on in your heart of heart while you had said no, not now, again and again to them like a mother does to a restless kid to divert him off mischiefs and eventually put him off to sleep…till the entire process became almost like a ritual and you found solace in the fact that you have the final command over your reckless spirit, an undeniable control that you thought was very much right and the call of the time.

There was also this teeny-weeny belief somewhere in the back of your mind (or is it heart?) that there is still time, the sun is still vibrant in its glow and its warmth yet soothing to the brow.

And suddenly one fine point of a day of usual boredom and routine you realize that it may not be so. Life may slowly be crumbling into a dissipated coil of withered fragrance and wilted petals and the end that you presumed was afar may be surreptitiously knocking at the door quietly laughing at your florid geniality which you have habituated yourself to believe as undying optimism.

Hope, they say is panacea to all frail-hearted ambitions which have not found their identity in Bohemia or diligence. I wonder is it really so or is it just one of those illusions that you stupidly cling just to find that  feeble will to foray into whatever is not in your scheme of things but have been impelled to embrace for the sake of survival.

I shall not try to seek the perfect answer like Yaksha did with Yudhishthira as all answers, I fear, may lead on to a maze of further illusions, mirages, compromises, consolations and make beliefs.

I shall not ask too many questions either because all queries are doomed to be futile and perpetuate the rigmarole of more pointless, mindless queries.

I shall just sit by this window and let moments take on moments till the roving Universe quietens in pace and zeal and settles down like I do by this sill drooling over the canopy of this endless vastness of blue which holds the mystery of all existence in its bosom like a well-guarded secret.

Be this void, this undiluted envelope of ether my medication….a soother to a tired wanderer….a remedial balm to the staggering feet of a well-worn traveller.

Oh! I lie here in wait

Perpetual

Procrastinate

Neither I

Nor should you

Pass me by

Unnoticed

Unheeded

Implore I do

A mendicant

In need

Come hold me

Take me into your arms

And hold me tight

Till I swoon in ecstasy

Poised in passion

Stilled in time

And then…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8sBKVy7RYE

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About gc1963

A working woman with interests in reading, writing, music, poetry and fine arts.

28 responses »

  1. My Say says:

    You got me hallucinated ,as usual and now I am just an object … the way i become for sometime..everyday.. nowadays..( I am yet to get the job hence.. free) I go on the terrace … dragged by some force of amusement to experience the stillness of the sky … like an object I sit on the floor and letting all the tsunami of thoughts invade me before leaving me blank .. as if I am anything but a life..and then I am still and the sky .The feeling of nothingness is an experience to cherish!

    Like

  2. jmathur says:

    Geeta Ji,

    Suprabhaat (it’s 3.15 a.m.)

    Your philosophical posts always make me find a glimpse of my own self in the words poured out by your heart in the infinity of time and space. This post also falls into the same category. The beautiful pictures add value to it. This is one of those posts of yours which call for my best reaction – silence.

    Regards.

    Jitendra Mathur

    Like

    • Am glad to mirror your thoughts as well ….that lends a kind of universality to my own musings and a foregone conclusion that I may not be all alone in my contemplation on life beyond life however pessimistic that may seem at times

      Like

  3. umashankar says:

    I read it yesterday night. Reading it again today, my feelings remains the same, that how it reminds me of John Keats.

    Like

  4. magiceye says:

    So beautiful! Wish I could hear this read!

    Like

  5. Rajesh says:

    You have put it in perfect words.

    Like

  6. Jyoti Mishra says:

    You have a way with words..
    I enjoyed both prose n poems equally 🙂

    sometimes time just freezes.. we find it so difficult to move on..
    and there are times when it just glides away !!

    Like

  7. As always, a wonderful piece! We did have an exchange of thoughts over these questions of life and death on my blog. So you’ve offered yet another thoughtful perspective.. Also, thanks for posting the link to the Ghazal, it expresses Existentialism at its best!

    Like

  8. awesome and u got me addicted. Love the style of writing:)

    Like

  9. soumyav says:

    the streamline flow of random thoughts was wonderfully woven and crafted! nice work

    Like

  10. Amrit Sinha says:

    It’s a pleasure reading this … the way you portray life and its intricacies are enlightening !!!

    Like

  11. Harsha says:

    Wow that is such a good read after a long time,I wish I had found your blog earlier..But now i will make sure never to miss any of your post

    Like

  12. Geeta i had to read it twice to get the full import—your writing,i am not vocal enough to explain but you certainly make powerful impact….have got me thinking…..

    Like

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